SIR HARRY LAUDER - Roaming in the Gloaming (2013)

Review by: Schuyler L.
Album assigned by: Star Trek II The Wrath of Khan

Sir Harry Lauder is a really happy sorta guy. He's good at drinking whiskey and loves to wax nostalgic about Scotch lassies and purple heather (“more like ‘PUURRPLLEe HAAAAZZZZzzzee,’ am I right now, dads?”) and has a really exquisite talent for rolling his "r's"... I do wonder, how did he earn his knightship? ? ? (insert more suggestive question marks here).

Regardless of this totally needless query posited to occupy typespace, I must say that to his credit, Lauder only tends to be at the very forefront of the record's sound about 80% of the time, with another 10% consisting of somewhat forced, explosive laughter... which is all right, really, because that reminds me a bit of the musical accompaniment... somewhat forced!

I am not going to review this one track-by-track, nor even mention a single track at all. And there's really no point to it, with something as self-apparent as this record, which is one of a slowly growing pool of centenarians. 

You see, the problem is that Sir Harry Lauder is to subtle abstraction as marble is to concrete. 

And by that, I do also mean that he's really white.

...

This is the kind of music you play after your luck has taken a bad turn. Perhaps you’ve lost your job, or your wife has left you because of your fantasy sports addiction, or maybe you lost one of your brand new running sneakers in the escalator at work, because you just happened put your foot on the side of it, though you damn well know you shouldn't do that, fucking asshole.

...

Because no matter what happens, you can still listen to Roaming in the Gloaming and say “Wow, how awesome it is that possibly on this very day, a hundred-and-something years ago, Sir Harry Lauder was totally getting off in Scotland!” 

DE KIFT - Vlaskoorts (1999)

Review by: Syd Spence
Album assigned by: Mark Maria Ahsmann

De Kift is a band that plays a modern reconstruction of early 19th century cabaret music. All of these tunes seemed born from working class music halls during the turn of the 20th century, and then given a slight discordant modern touch with the odd arrangement or spoken word bit. It’s not too discordant to off shoot the old fashioned songs, but it’s enough to know that the musicians probably own a few Einsturzende Neubauten records. The question though is it any good? And that’s where we have a problem. 

I came to this record with multiple prejudices and inadequacies that hinder my enjoyment. One, It has taken me lots of repeated listenings to jazz, soul, and reggae records to not hate brass instruments. I come from America and the tradition of big brass bands playing in our sports is an endemic anachronism, and I find those old war marches a combination of quaint and shrill. Cabaret brass comes from a similar heritage and despite a bit of a jazz influence on this record, it still has that frumpy uptight feel. 

Two, I really hate accordions. I don’t know why exactly i’m turned off by them. Where i’m from, the accordion is super popular with Mexican Americans and Mexican immigrants, and perhaps some hidden racism or classism is afoot. It’s the main instrument in tejano music which is a combination of Mexican folk and German polka music. I’ve always loathed it, as well as polka music. Something about the rhythms just seem so sexless, and uptight. And polka is a hop skip and a jump from cabaret, or is literally a subgenre of it. I really don’t know much about European folk brass dance music. In my mind, Europe’s best musical invention was combining synthesizers and disco rhythms, and well, this is a long way from Giorgio Moroder. 

And last, I’m American. I speak one language. It’s ridiculous and limiting, I know, so the parts where spoken word poetry is happening, I tune out. It’s not melodic and I don’t understand what’s being spoken. I have hunch it’s political in some regard but i don’t know. The cleverness or beauty of the poetry is completely absent in my loathsome ignorance.

So I did not like this album, but I feel i have no real way to adequately critique it due to my prejudices. I will say that they didn’t go far enough beyond cabaret cliches to make me question my prejudices. I have heard some gypsy punk and dark cabaret groups that make me second guess my hatred of old European dance music. This just made me want to delete it from hard drive as soon as possible.

RED KRAYOLA - The Parable of Arable Land (1967)

Review by: Roland Bruynesteyn
Album assigned by: Kunal Somaiya

This is one album I heard a lot about, but I actually never listened to it. Now I did, and I can inform you, dear reader, about the results.

A one line review would possibly read like this: “Psychedelic like The 13th Floor Elevators, but without the jug, and linking individual pieces by Free Form Freak-Outs, interludes that sound almost exactly like what they suggest”.

A four word review would read; “Garage rock in 1967”.

It is a challenging listen for several reasons:

·          The Free Form Freak-Outs, are not really composed, and not really music either. They remind me of parts of Lumpy Gravy or early Can

·         The actual songs, such as they are, are all of the droney persuasion and there is not a lot of variation in the 40+ minutes

·         Recording quality is pretty bad, even for 1967 standards, making it difficult to discern any (possible) subtleties.

For me as a dead head, the best way to approach it is like a 40 minute Dark Star: some recurring themes, some collective improvisation in the instrumental passages, sometimes moving into rather abstract territory, leaving the language of music (as if parts of What’s Become Of The Baby are inserted randomly).

"Pink Stainless Tail" is the most normal song, somewhat sounding like The Small Faces, with a more fuzzy bass. By the same token, the title song, "Parable Of Arable Land", is the weirdest song, sounding somewhat like "Several Species Of Small Furry Animals" (off Ummagumma), working frantically in Brian’s "Smile Workshop". "Former Reflections Enduring Doubt" is the best song, and a nice one to finish the album with.

Most likely this will not be anybody’s favorite 1967 record (and if it is, that’s quite worrying!), but on the other hand, this is really one of those records that make up the myth of 1967, even after all those years. It only belongs in a VERY comprehensive collection, I’d say.

EARTH AND FIRE - Song of the Marching Children (1971)

Review by: B.B. Fultz
Album assigned by: Roland Bruynesteyn

This is an album by a prog(gish) Netherlands band called Earth and Fire. I say proggish because they are unusual for a prog band. Their sound, at least on this album, is more folkish and antiquated than the common definition of prog rock. They're more like Jethro Tull than anything, and Tull was always sort of a white crow among the British and American prog bands of the time. Earth and Fire with its female vocalist (rare for any prog band) is maybe even more of a white crow.

The opening song is called “Carnival of the Animals.” It is about animals in the forest doing various animal things. My first impression was Jefferson Airplane. Lilting female vocals and a vaguely martial drumbeat. Both the words and the music set the theme for the rest of the album. Storybook lyrics, crisp drum rhythms, and prominent synthesizers dominate the songs. It is very much an album of its time. The synthesizers especially have that early 70s synth sound that was to change in a few years as synths became more advanced. The overall mood, to me, seems more 60s than 70s. There's a sense of lost innocence and a yearning for a simpler and more natural world.

"Ebbtide" is an idyllic song about tides and gulls. It's an interesting combination of watery synths, flute solos, random guitar licks, and an almost jazz-like rhythm background. It reminds me of another song, or a few other songs, that I can't name at the moment. 

"Storm and Thunder" is reminiscent of early ELP, but with more baroque elements. The keyboards are more dominant here than on the other songs.

"In The Mountains" ventures into Pink Floyd territory. The lead guitar is slow and lilting, very much in the Gilmour style. The keyboard as well is more the art-rock of Rick Wright than anything by Emerson or Wakeman.

The closing multi-part suite "Song of the Marching Children" is an interesting piece. I'm not sure I get it, lyrically, but it seems to be about the endless legacy of war, which the human race seems like it will never entirely escape. It sounds like a lament for all the future generations that will have to send their youth off to fight. The very end confirms this idea ... all the other instruments fade and there is only the relentless martial drumbeat, the endless march.

Overall impression -- a mostly soothing and pleasant album, pretty on the ear, and with interesting moments here and there, but rarely rising above the level of basic prog-folk. Then again, maybe a little basic prog-folk is just what you're in need of. Worth a listen or two, at any rate. 

The version I located on YouTube had bonus tracks. "Invitation" is the first of them, notable because it rocks a lot more than the original album tracks, so it's an abrupt change of pace after the solemnity of the album. It's different, and it's quite good.  "Lost Forever" is another rocker among the bonus tracks, and it's also quite good -- slow and heavy and brutal, unlike the album. There's some surprising guitarwork in it too, striking little arpeggio-moments that wouldn't be out of place in an Iron Maiden song (!) although Iron Butterfly comes closer to describing the song in general (either way it's a very metallic song). For me the highlights of this band are when they rock. They have a nice heavy sound when they rock, not unlike early Budgie, a band that I like a lot. There's another new track called "Memories," not quite as good as the other two, but worth a listen. There are also single versions of "Song For The Marching Children" (not "OF the Marching Children" for some reason) and "Storm and Thunder." If you seek this album out, I'd recommend finding the version with the bonus tracks. To me Earth and Fire is at their most interesting when they rock.

IVY GREEN - Ivy Green (1990)

Review by: B.B. Fultz
Album assigned by: Mark Maria Ahsmann

Note : I was one of the two or three people that asked for a good album to review, rather than a deliberately bad album, so this review will not be a “panning” per se. I thought maybe this was important to mention because nearly all of the other albums in this round were bad (at least in the opinion of the people who assigned them).

Ivy Green is a late 70s punk album by the band Ivy Green. It has most of the earmarks of early punk -- short song lengths, simple chord structures played at a fast tempo, and clipped, snotty-sounding vocals where you can't always make out the words but you know it's something being repeated over and over. It's very much a straightforward punk album from the days when punk was still new and exciting. The band does a competent job with it, as long as you don't mind them borrowing from other bands left and right. You've heard all these songs before, even if they were different songs by different bands when you heard them. 

The Ramones influence is obvious from the very first song. As soon as you hear the chainsaw buzz of "I'm Sure We're Gonna Make It" you know where these guys are coming from, and have a good idea where they're going. The more you listen, the more shades of 1978 you'll find. "Another Sub-Culture Going Bad" has the barked vocal style of Johnny Rotten over a simple guitar phrase that would be right at home on Bollocks, and "Sue" sounds like some obscure 60s surf rocker that would have been covered on the Great Rock & Roll Swindle. "Why Not Tonight" also sounds like a song from the early 60s updated for the punk age -- the rockabilly drive on that one reminds me of Johnny Cochran. I can't tell if Ivy Green listened to a lot of 60s music themselves, or if they subconsciously picked up that sound by imitating other punk bands who listened to a lot of 60s music. 

They settle into this basic punk/proto-punk groove and stick with it for 36 minutes. Once in awhile they deviate from the pattern (a little) -- "Every Day The Same" has some breaks in the monotonous guitar-buzz where they try for something a little different -- but for the most part the songs all sound similar, and rarely stray beyond the stereotypical punk sound of 1978. 

The album is very much a product of its time, with all the good qualities (drive, youthful aggression, cool guitar tones) and bad qualities (stripped down structures, monotonous sound) that go with it. If you like punk, you'll probably like this album. If you dislike punk, you'll probably hate it. Ivy Green doesn't try to be much more than just another punk band, but what they try they succeed at. Which is more than you can say for many other bands who tried for bigger things and failed. And even if Ivy Green’s debut was not exactly a milestone in the history of music, it's a pretty cool album all the same.

Mossing About: CLIPPING - Splendor & Misery (2016)

Review by: Jonathan Moss

Clipping's latest album is a concept album that made me completely re-evaluate my opinion on the group. Prior to the album I had viewed them as a minor noise-rap group, with a few catchy songs and a generally interesting sound, but nothing compared to Death Grips or Dalek. This album made me take them seriously as a modern experimental hip hop group and realise I'd been unfair to their previous releases. It made me feel like a fool, but I'll happily be a fool if I can continue listening to this album.

Like I said, it's a concept album, and while the concept is interesting I really won't be going into it that much. What I will talk about is the general sound of the album. Well, it's got a really claustrophobic vibe, like a mother shoved her child into a washing machine because she didn't love it enough to clean it herself. It's also got a lot of neat sounds, shit like metallic clanging and other noises. The synth lines remind me somewhat of PiL's album The Flowers of Romance, though probably more in spirit than actual sound, just the same gothic coldness and weirdness. Less abstractly, they're pretty glitchy and cold, like an iceberg with some asshole playing a Gameboy on it. This really gives the album a sound matching its setting as a malfunctioning space slave ship, the whole album sounds clanky, dank and leaky.

Daveed Digg's rapping on the album is pretty great as well. Whilst in the past I'd dismissed him as a rapper with a really good flow and delivery but little in the way of any personality, this album made me realise he has a pretty interesting overall style, managing to sound cold, cocky, sentimental, unsure, whatever mood the album and story demands. He also has some really neat lyrics on the album, especially on songs such as “All Black” (“That time will not afford him, any cover, any pardon, This is the choice that he has made, No matter how much time or space has passed since his escape, he is still a runaway slave and so lonely”) and “Baby Don't Sleep” (“No home, you've been there, clearly off safety, no destination, no time for waiting, saviors are fiction, memories fading like ghosts, ghosts, go”). I also find it interesting that Daveed chose to make the album about a slave in the space age, as it of course shows raps place in black culture, making them seem like they'll take the place that spirituals took during American slavery.

“All Black” is the first proper song on the album and fuck is it magnificent. Pretty much the moment I heard it I realised I'd made a mistake with my evaluation of Clipping in the past. It's a very creepy, minimalistic song, six minutes and repetitive, but in a good way. The songs backing instrumentation sounds almost dark ambientish. I'd just like to point out when I made notes for this song I didn't know what the album was about, and I wrote “sounds like an empty, decayed ship”.

I'm a fucking genius.

“Wake Up” is a really cool song as well, being short and having a very manic pace, with Daveed's rapping being a whirlwind of fast paced paranoia, which matches the BLARING SIREN. It sounds like the ship is being hit by asteroids, which serves the concept well. It also has some nice singing, adding an eerie vibe, with the singing being clearly influenced by, shit, the type of music in Fallout 3. “True Believer” has some bashing percussion and more of the ye olde style singing. “Air Em Out” is a fucking classic, just one of those songs that you feel cool listening to (though when you realise this you feel really uncool). Its the closest the album comes to embracing contemporary rap, percussion is trap and synths are grime, kind of. Daveed's vocal performance is very confident and braggadocious, adding to the vibe. The driving, dancey beat helps, though the song is deffos too abrasive to be played in a club.

I'm going to talk about the last two tracks separately, because they work so well as almost a mini-suite, a good juxtaposition. “Baby Don't Sleep” is a particularly abstract and menacing song, while “A Better Place” is really pretty and poppish. “Baby” creates its bleak atmosphere- it sounds the like ship is disintegrating- with a multitude of ominous noise influenced sounds, urgent, stern rapping from Daveed, especially on the chorus, which takes a leap into dark ambience and general robotic weirdness with a high pitched robot voice saying the title of the song. “A Better Place” meanwhile has an atmosphere which suggests a calming universe, created with beautiful, melodic keyboard playing, pleasant spacey tangerine dream like sound effect, and an uplifting rap performance by Daveed, with some pretty singing as well. The song could be the first in ambient pop-rap. Lyrically both songs are pretty bleak though, “Baby” appears to be about the ship being destroyed whilst “A Better Place” makes it clear the protagonist wont survive. And of course, even if he does, he's still a runaway slave. This is perhaps why despite the ostensible positivity of “A Better Place” the song actually ends on a burst of nihilistic harsh noise. Together the two songs work together beautifully to create a sad end to the album, which is what makes me look at them as a piece.

This review is getting a bit long but I do have to criticize the album a bit before I can end it. Not that the criticism is perfunctory, I really do feel like the album doesn't contain enough songs. The interludes are cool thematically and I did like them the first time I listened, they do become annoying and in their place they could have included some other songs, perhaps a few other bangers like “Air 'Em Out”.

Overall though this is a very strong album and it makes me feel excited about Clippings future.

THE THELONIOUS MONK QUARTET - Misterioso (1959)

Review by: Francelino Prazeres de Azevedo Filho
Album assigned by: Schuyler L. 

When Schuyler assigned me a Thelonious Monk album, out of all NYC records he could have assigned me, I got the uncomfortable feeling I was going to disappoint him. I’m not the biggest fan of jazz, you see, and I specifically dislike noodling. Still, there was some hope, as I had previously listened to and enjoyed some well-regarded albums, like A Love Supreme and The Black Saint and the Sinner Lady. Maybe I would enjoy this too, and even enlighten myself more on this much-celebrated genre of music.

Well, it saddens me to say that even among the little jazz I’ve seriously listened to, Misterioso is particularly boring. Thelonious is a pianist, and I generally prefer the piano to wind instruments in jazz, so I thought it would be a strong point. But, to my alas, it’s one of the weakest, shiest pianos I’ve seen in the genre. Not that the other instruments are that much prominent. Somehow, it feels like every single instrument takes a secondary role in this record.

Jazz tracks generally start with a pattern that gets repeated or built up for a minute or more, before the improvisation part starts and goes for a while, until the pattern comes back for the end of the song. In the case of the jazz I’ve enjoyed, those initial patterns are usually very catchy, and they linger on my mind, easing in the noodling parts, that I don’t appreciate that much. Misterioso doesn’t even try to hook me, however. The initial patterns are all weak and uninteresting, except perhaps the one in “In Walked Bud”. Too bad this track has the worst solo of all in the disk, starting by the 3-minute mark, which ruins the previously built goodwill. It’s also the longest one, and god, what a chore it is to finish it!

The improv parts feel so dull and lifeless to my not-a-fan ears. I think part of the blame goes to the weakness of the initial themes, but that surely wasn’t the sole factor. None of the instruments seem like they were trying to reach a strong emotion here. It feels like the players were too content in making a sophisticated atmosphere and nothing more. I bet none of them even sweated. If I were to list moments that stood out, I would have to handpick stuff like drum solos, which is a testament to how much I disliked the overall sound. “Blues Five Spot” has a line that sounds like the “Popeye” tune for some seconds before disassembling itself, starting around 3:40. The title track has a growing melody of horns (or other brass instrument, I’m not good at picking them apart) around the 6-7 minute mark, but instead of climbing to a climax it fizzles out and opens the way for more meaningless piano.

I think Misterioso might have been the non-João-Gilberto jazz album I disliked the most. It is a dull long-winded 46 minutes of noise that neither excited the surface of my mind, nor sank comfortably to the bottom as background music. Instead, it made its presence felt all the time, but as an annoyance. It was a bad experience that I don’t wish to repeat.

THE FLAMING LIPS - Clouds Taste Metallic (1995)

Review by: Victor Guimarães
Album assigned by: Syd Spence

“So, it was a warm spring evening when I arrived at Oklahoma City to see its most famous band: The Flaming Lips. And in this hometown-comeback concert, they’re playing Clouds Taste Metallic in full! Wow, can’t wait for that!”

Gods, I surely wanted to have said that sentence just above. And to have lived it as well - you know what they say about the amazing experience that is a Lips concert? Something like 50 bands to see before you (or they) die. But, unfortunately, all that I got was the pleasure of restraining myself to online streaming players. Damn! 

Ok, everyone knows the band, right? Americans, heavily inspired by psychedelic culture and known for their sound experimentations from the 80s to this day. Cool, huh? Clouds Taste Metallic is their seventh album, the last to feature guitarist Ronald Jones, and the last guitar-oriented, traditional rock based album. So, expect lots of good rock songs, all of them as short as 4 minutes, and all sporting great spirit. Expect well-thought melodies, those whose drum tempos, bass lines, guitar solos were precisely orchestrated to fit in together with the smart free-verse singing and bring specific emotions to the listener. Now, add the spaced, poetic, metaphorical lyrics and you’ve got the recipe for a great album.

Well, no one is expected to be spared from criticism, right? I could say the songs are too short, that they could’ve been done in a better, most complex way. Or that the lyrics are, in its majority, too metaphorical, too indirect, in such a way that a full comprehension will require some mindwork from the average listener. No, it’d all be wimpy criticism. One could also say the album is too simple. Come on! They are the 'good simple', with discrete touches of geniality all over the album. For me, those small, discontinuous, but ever-present displays of great ideas is exactly what (and one of the many ways that) distinguishes a great composition from a good one. But even with all that praise, I still got the feeling that there was something amiss in Clouds Taste Metallic. As I write those final lines of this review, after listening to the album a couple of times, I still hadn’t figured out what I think they missed. 

At last, don’t fool yourself with doubts or second thoughts: great album from a great band. What more could I say? I wished I’d seen ‘em live!

NEKO CASE - Fox Confessor Brings the Flood (2006)

Review by: Eric Pember
Album assigned by: Jonathan Hopkins

I’m sorry, but I don’t really know how to handle this one. I think it sounds nice, and better than a lot of other alt-country I’ve heard (let’s not even get started on mainstream country), but I can’t exactly detail why I think that at this time. Part of me thinks that there’s a subliminal effect from really liking Neko Case’s contributions to the New Pornographers, but I also like what I’ve heard from Calexico (who apparently play on this album), so that’s likely not it.

Trying to compare this to another alt-countryish artist I like (Woven Hand) perhaps provides a hint at why I like this. Like Woven Hand, it tries for a distinct atmosphere, unlike seemingly a lot of country music, both mainstream and alternative. Also like Woven Hand, it is a bit samey-sounding, but ultimately most songs in every genre are samey-sounding if you don’t have much of an aptitude for it.

I’ll get back to this album at some point (along with the subsequent ones from her and albums from Calexico) and see if I can figure out why I like this where most alt-country music kinda doesn’t work for me. 

FLOW DAN - Original Dan (2009)

Review by: Alex Alex
Album assigned by: Michael Strait

Yo! Fuck you! Review! Brought to you by Alex Alex who is cooler than T-Rex knows much about sex posted the photos of his ex all over the Internet I've hacked her fucking personal cabinet with my supercool botnet all hand-written in dot net (fucking smart) now all her pics are in the Darknet studied by the CCRU fuck you (mothefuckers) now listen to the review.

How do we deconstruct rap? For things like the prog the method is easy – take a typical Peter Hammill-esque melody, put the lyrics that describe the habits of Russian grey bears as well as the climate of the areas where the bears usually live, take care that the lyrics contain just enough exact quotations from some academical thesis, sing the thing in the typical Peter Hammill manner and you are guaranteed to entertain the more sophisticated part of the audience while not abandoning the less sophisticated part who will definitely like the nice melody as it's nothing they have ever heard before.

No such luck with rap. I have to be serious with the review then.

Song 1. That's the opening song. The purpose of the opening song is such: recording companies show the artists their place. For an artist to record an opening song for his/her album is the same as for an ordinary man to be raped then paid for the trauma by the decision of the court. I DONT GIVE A FUCK! I'M JUST ME! YOU! NEVER SEEN ME IN THE DUMP! Typical opening song, the only goal is to convince the buyers that this is indeed the record they are buying and not some out-of-order shit. Like, when they sell you a car they open the doors, they flash the lights, they turn on the radio whatever there is in the car they show you by making it to produce NOISE. Which usually has very little to do with the car itself. That's what opening songs do. Should be ignored for any album in any review. Ignored then.

Song 2. That's cool they sampled loading and then firing the gun. Oh my, that's cool! Oh my, I should apply to our this here arts college so they teach me the same. Oh my! You see, it's the music and at the same time it's BOOM-reload-BOOM-reload-BOOM. Oh my, oh my they are natural born musicians! That's like Fleurs du fucking Mal! Seriously cool, no way this here dumb policeman ever guess what I'm listening to on my headphones otherwise he would've quickly arrested me!

Song 3. Reggae! This artist he very much reminds me of those Jamaican guys in the “Airplane!” movie. In any case, the effect he produces on me is exactly the same: Americans find that part of the movie hilarious and the countless generations of this here translators try in vain to produce anything even remotely sensible out of those Jamaican dialogs. Ah! And he says “Flowdan” for the first time (I think) on the album. As a rapper he has to voice his own name at least once per an album. The rappers they are like pokemons in that respect.

Song 4. That one has to do something with Barack Obama! The lyrics are absolutely unintelligible (for me) and I'm inclined to think they are deliberately done in that way. I've seen the same done on TV once! At Nelson Mandela funerals! There was that crazy sign language interpreter at Mandela's funerals (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=StEFnh18zRk). Everybody back then said his translation did not make any sense. This song should make us, at least, start thinking otherwise. It's happening all over the world, you see. In all areas. There is a hidden message in this song – same as the message in that interpreter's translation. Same message. To the same addressee. Which is yet to appear.

Song 5. Oh! Mine is only JLPT N4 with a very low score, so no way I can understand this. Shall review again in twenty years or so. Anything Japanese is cool. Why? Because Japanese. Japan is cool. It used to be not that cool some time ago, with that Hiroshima thing, very uncool, but then suddenly everything illuminated and is now cool. That's the same as with human life, one day my life will be cool, too. And the meaningless noise and the pitiful sobs I now emit they will all turn into the new Japanese language and you will have to study for years to understand the magnificence of it.

Song 6. This is a noticeable song. It begins with a very loud LOOK! Now I understand how my grandfather felt when I bought a new laptop for him to learn about the new things. Back in those days, I came and I said LOOK! And then, I remember, I was closing the notebook lid and my grandfather kept staring into the void.

Song 9. This song has violins or something like in the orchestra they have. Strings! We here also have that - we here have some rappers doing shows with the symphonic orchestra. That way capitalism tells you to finally forget about anything not related to the process of buying tickets and finding your seats. This song is also has ‘Remix’ in its title, never knew what that word means, must be some Jamaican slang word.

Yo! I'm running out of inspiration. This album has some nice Jamaican quotations! Sometimes it has some industrial tunes and the cool Japanese words as if the artist listens to Death in June! Yo! It’s full of a cool Jamaican reggae it ain't no Bob Dylan with his motherfucking Maggie. Though to me all songs they sound like one. Big one! I wish I was black I would've been looking like SATAN!!!! SATAN!!!!

Oh, finally I can do that

SATAN!!!!! SATAN!!!!! SATAN!!!!! SATAN!!!!! SATAN!!!!! SATAN!!!!! SATAN!!!!! SATAN!!!!!

BENT KNEE - Shiny Eyed Babies (2014)

Review by: Charly Saenz
Album assigned by: Avery Campbell

I was a little perplexed on first listen of this album, which genre is it? Were they drunk? Did they call a surrogate band in some tracks to meet deadlines? But well, this is the very nature of the band. They are an art rock band.

It's way nice that an artist can touch upon many genres, only, I think if they can really integrate them into a solid final product. Whether no frills metal ("Way Too Long") or more elaborate affairs ("Dry") they do their business well. They can do more commercial stuff, almost in the Coldplay field ("In God We Trust"). 

They can present unexpected twists within the same songs, which is fresh, but also a little tiring on repeated listens. "I'm Still Here" gets into Kate Bush territory, and they do it quite well, a really beautiful song.

In fact the second part of the album is a more subtle affair, Celtic touches and violins in "Sunshine" (and some crazy guitar in the crescendo just to assert the power). Some .. industrial? Rock traces in the second part of "Skin", to finish it off with a soft piano, once more.

A good album overall it suffers from the CD era trauma: too long; a little trimming would work wonders. Or just make up your playlist, that's The Modern World that I've learnt about!

JOHN DUNCAN - Pleasure Escape (1985)

Review by: Jonathan Moss
Album assigned by: Tristan Peterson

It was a cold day and Billy set off to his work at the graveyard. He had been working there for several years now, and, contrary to what pop-psychology would tell you, it had had no ill effect on him. He still was of a generally cheery inclination, had a small group of close friends and a larger group of trustworthy associates. He was happy with his job, the graveyard had a stereotypically gothic beauty and it gave him time to think. The cold weather on this particular day was annoying him somewhat, and obviously like any job it was still for the most part tedious, he wasn't feeling particularly negative. This, of course, was about to change. 

He stumbled across a man, how shall we put it, having relations with a corpse. 

“What the hell are you doing?”, screamed Billy, who was vaguely aware of such goings on but generally preferred not to think about them, let alone be confronted by them. 

“Goddamnit! I was almost finished” shouted the necrophiliac. 

“Oh well” he said, removing himself and getting dressed, “I suppose I can always do this another time” 

“Hey man, I'm a libertarian” replied Billy, “I don't care what you do, just do it in another graveyard” 

“Fair enough” replied the necrophiliac “I guess I do owe you an explanation. My name is John Duncan and I'm a field recorder and experimental artist. I was defiling this corpse sexually to make a comment on nihilism in modern society, probably”

“Ah”, thought Billy. So he was one of those crazy avant-gardists. Billy had heard about these fellows, doing obscene and immoral activities to prove a point about the decadence of society, maybe. Poor John Duncan probably didn't even enjoy screwing that corpse, he was doing it out of some higher calling, in his own way he was a God. Of course, Billy wasn't sure why John couldn't have made his point in writing, as people like Schopenhauer, Comte de Lautreamont, Thomas Ligotti, and of course, Marquis De Sade had.

Well, Billy didn't actually think that, he didn't know who any of those people were. He did however contemplate calling the police, but decided to be true to his word and let John Duncan go, where he would record a film soundtrack, or something.

НОМ (NOM) - Во имя разума (1996)

Review by: Roland Bruynesteyn
Album assigned by: Alex Alex

"Интеркосмос" - After a gushing wind we get a Peter Gunn inspired vamp, then we get some synthetic vibes and some synthesizer notes. Then a robotic voice, presumably in Russian. Not really singing, but it sounds like he’s recounting his days’ events, with a strong, warning, undertone. The Peter Gunn theme ties it together nicely. Some guitar is added, with some chord based jamming and an almost Gilmourian tone. When the Peter Gunn theme stops it becomes quieter, with some (acoustic?) guitar and some kind of synthesized flute. A female joins in some kind of dialogue, some panic, some bees being slaughtered, song over. Not bad!

 

I think "Баллада О Межпланетной Любви" starts close to the 5.30 mark, nicely acoustic before the band joins in. This song is a strange mix of the Nirvana esthetic (loud and quiet passages) with some Metallica-style Cossack singing. The instrumental passages are nice, but meander a bit. Guitar solo is good, but the music during the solo sounds a bit sluggish.

 

Presumably, "Предупреждение Посланца Вселенского Разума" starts around 11.55 with some drunk yelling and a glass breaking. A synthesizer loop, innocent of course, but also a bit simple. The drums join in and some rap style singing, again strongy urging you to do something, or so it seems. Other voices join in, sounding somewhat processed (or it’s just the local dialect and tone of voice in Alex Alex’ hometown). The repetitive melodies recall some Krautrock. The synthesizer figure returns, with some jazzy drumming, the calling voice and a guitar being dismembered. A hint of Talking Heads in an aggressive mood, perhaps.

 

At 15.50 "Лягва" starts with dialogue again. This could very well be a storytelling concept album, a la The Wall. Some frantic drumming and some call and response “singing”. The song, and especially the guitar work, sound strangely new wavish, apart from the drumming. The title is repeated over and over again.

 

Around 18.54 some more dialogue, as a prelude to "Студенческая Межзвездная". Start is almost rednecky ZZ Top, but the singing definitely is not, sounding more like a (good) Clash song off London calling.

 

21.45, new song, "Любовь Инженера" starts with a simple bass figure. Rather like the Talking Heads again (think Naive Melody), apart from the mock Gothic singing. Sounds like a real organ, nice!

 

Around 26.30 "Jurassic Park" starts, Western lettering for a change. The song DOES indeed sound like it could appear in a weird Western.

 

27.36 "Укрблюз", a modest epic, with some real saxophone playing around the 31 minute mark (or 2,5 minute mark, actually).

 

"Чрезвычайное Происшествие" starts around 32.10. Totally different voice, Miss Piggy, not very pleasing to the ears. Other people start protesting as well, by the sound of it. Very annoying piece of theatrical music that does not work for me AT ALL.

 

Around 35.50 "Марш Косморазведчиков" starts, and it better be a 12 minute epic, or I will have completely misconstrued the different song lengths. Another ZZ Top style riff to start with. Not original, but it works. Singing again new wavish, and during the singing parts the music is dramatically different as well. The ZZ Top riff does return a few times however.

 

Around 39.25 the song seems to finish, so I consider the rest a hidden bonus track. Acoustic guitars with some cymbal heavy drumming, sounding turning into a sitar sometimes. The serious singing, intoning a warning again, sort of detracts from the quiet parts of the music. Electric guitars join in, closely following the bass lines. Next verse, some background vocals are added, yelling the same lyrics. It sounds a bit more balanced. Third verse they disappear again, but a guitar replaces the backing vocals. Final guitar figure is repeated ad infinitum, when it slows down a bit.

 

What to make of it? I could not get used to the low vocals, that sounded too much like a solo Gregorian chanter for my taste. Not understanding the lyrics does not help either. The music however is quite varied, played professionally and somehow strangely appealing. The artists I compared it with in my mind (Clash, Krautrock, Nirvana, Metallica, Talking Heads, ZZ Top) are all a lot older, so originality is not really a factor here, apart from the singing (that fails to my ears).

 

But then I think giving a very weird voice to the classics nicely summarizes Alex Alex’ life (or at least the role he plays in this group)!

EL-P - Cancer 4 Cure (2012)

Review by: Franco Micale
Album assigned by: Jonathan Moss

I’m going to be honest, I’m not one who is really qualified to review rap music. For one thing, I have been so busy lately that I have not been able to find a satisfying amount of time to really digest, listen to and examine this album from multiple angles. On top of that, hip hop is such a lyrically focused genre of music, and while I can be good at analyzing and dissecting apart literature, poetry, and lyrics, it tends to take me a lot of work, and I’ve just finished my summer quarter of school and I really don’t want to force myself to write an essay detailing the philosophical and sociological messages of “Cancer 4 Cure”. So, pardon me if I am not reviewing and judging this album “properly”. 

I will talk about what I know, and this album sounds amazing. The whole thing, when I visualize it, is like some giant, cinematic, sci-fi action movie, except the movie is about some dystopian society filled with drones, security cameras, and watchguard robots. E-lp’s lyrics seem to deal with detachment and disassociation from the world...finding dissatisfaction from relationships, cheap thrills, technology, fame, the government... just listening to him rap stirs my soul in various way. I can feel the ANGER, the RAGE, the PASSION in what he’s doing, both in his words and his delivery. I don’t know if I can really nail down any specific moments that catch my attention, but to me I consider this album to be solidified proof that anyone who says that rap music is a “stupid” genre of art either:

Have barely heard any rap music, or

Are over the age of 40 and can no longer find appreciation in trendy new types of music

Anyways, moving on, let’s discuss the SOUND and STYLE of this album.This album is a mixture of synthesized sounds, mechanized drum beats, and variety of samples and big, attention grabbing effects, which all seem to create what is the auditory equivalent to a high budget sci-fi movie. This flashy production contrasts and compliments E-lp’s frustration and desperation in a consumeristic and technology driven world,and on a surface level, everything just dazzles me.

Overall, I could go into more detail, but eh. I just don’t feel like it. I’ll let you listen to it, and decide for yourself the quality of this album.

So overall, even though I don’t feel extreme love towards it, it’s a perfectly great and solid album with not a real bad moment. For people who are interested in rap music, but aren’t really sure where to start, this might not be a bad beginning point.

Did I enjoy this album? A: Yes

Should you listen to this album? A: If you like rap music, yes you should.

Is it essential that you listen to this album? A: I don't know how innovative or revolutionary or how different this is from other rap music, so I don't know if I can answer this. But yes, it feels important enough.

If you like this album, what should you listen to? A: I haven't heard them, but Run The Jewels is the main project that E-lp is a part of, so I'd check that out.

FAVORITE TRACK? A: Album was very consistent, can't quite pick out one.

LEAST FAVORITE TRACK? A: N/A

ZEZÉ DI CAMARGO & LUCIANO - Zezé Di Camargo & Luciano (2012)

Review by: Roland Bruynesteyn
Album assigned by: Francelino Prazeres de Azevedo Filho

As this was a rush job, due to a medical emergency, I did not do any research online about this band or duo, but just listened to the album on Spotify, making up my mind, and forming a judgment about the music, as I went along, concluding pretty much instantly that this would not be a new cherished discovery of an amazing album by an artist that I would like to know more about, even if they’re singing in Portuguese, the sweetest, most beautiful sounding language in the world, so three sentences would do.

At first hearing (and be aware, that is as far as I got) this half live, half studio album sounds like typical 80’s (power) pop: weird production (up front vocals, tinny sound, loud drums (in the worst Phil Collins style, just listen to Nao Tem Graça), synthesised or synthetically sounding strings) with some comforting semi-acoustic sounds, slightly epic melodies (sometimes not all that bad, really), which is OK by me, until I realised this album was produced in 2012!!!

Some of the songs, especially the live ones, such as Sonho de Amor and Eu To Na Pista Eu To Solteiro, sound energetic and happy and could be summer hits, but then there is a power ballad like Eu Quero É Mais, that would even fail at a Eurovison Song contest. Em Algum Lugar Do Passado, if ever so slightly slowed down, could have been covered by Sting solo and be quite acceptable, but Meu Nenén, Meu Bebe, Minha Vida is one of the worst songs I’ve heard all year.

ISIS - Panopticon (2004)

Review by: Jonathan Moss
Album assigned by: Syd Spence

Apparently this is a concept album based on Jeremy Bentham's idea of how a prison should be designed, as some sort of reflection on modern society and how its totally fucked bro, etc. I don't care about any of that though, but man this is a neat album!

So I guess Godflesh is the obvious comparison, but how can you not make it? This album sounds quite obviously inspired by Godflesh. Pounding industrial metal with growley vocals. They definitely aren't ripping off Godflesh though, if they were I would write a review of Streetcleaner in protest. No, this takes the sound Godflesh started in new and exciting directions! I don't know why, because the record isn't that synth laden, but it reminds me somewhat of Aphex Twin. Maybe it's just the vibe, kind of depressing, but in a spacey way, and quite British as well, so bleak, like all those buildings we have, both rural and industrial. So, this is some sort of metal album, but it features long passages of clean, kind of chiming, proggish guitar playing, almost a sort of negative psychedelia. This, when juxtaposed with the harsh, grinding passages, makes for a thrilling combination. Of course, it helps that this isn't spastic, the album maintains a tense, sombre mood throughout, with the clean passages helping give it a melancholic vibe and the noisy ones expressing anger and stopping it from becoming boring, like a porcupine tree album. It also helps to give the album a certain depth, though without seeming pretentious, which is surprising considering the concept.

Who wants an album where you have to read Foucault to get the lyrics? I know I do.

It's somewhat hard to go into individual songs, the album working so well together as a cohesive whole, but I don't want this review to be short so enjoy this shitty filler paragraph. Well, the opening song “So Did We” is serves its function very well, it made me realise the album was going to be worth listening to straight away, and well worth writing about (which is why I'm so late with this review). It establishes the dynamics of the album quickly and has some great riffs. Which reminds me, this album is seriously catchy, most of the songs have at least one riff worth paying attention to. And the riffs to the quiet sections, those are as beautiful as a man who doesn't open a tinder conversation with a photo of his dick. The last song is cool as well, featuring a slightly grungier, more monolithic sound, and some cool effects, creating a dirge like effect. It also has some truly elegiac guitar passages.

Anyway, time for some criticism, and I guess I have the same criticism I had of that Ann Peebles album, which is that this can be somewhat monotonous. I get that this is a concept album, so it wants to maintain a similar mood, and it definitely doesn't harm the album that much, but I do wish they had included some variety, I just can't think of what else they could have done. Maybe a song that crosses from melancholia to outright despair, or a really angry industrial metal song, but then the album might lose some of its individuality, so what the fuck do I know?

Either way, this album is fabulous and will enter my rotation.

KID CUDI - Speedin' Bullet 2 Heaven (2015)

Review by: Dinar Khayrutdinov
Album assigned by: Michael Strait

There once was a rapper named Cudi

Who thought he could move everybody

By singing his pain

In the wake of Cobain –

His brain must have gone a bit muddy.

 

How do you make a grunge album in the 2010s?

Acclaimed recording artist Kid Cudi has the answer! You know guys, this must seem like a revelation to you, but doing grunge is actually easy. You take a very badly tuned guitar (because grunge is basically modified punk rock, right?) and just thumb the fuck out of it while doing an imitation of heavily autotuned Eddie Vedder with your voice. Because that is what grunge is all about! That and the yelling. You have to yell a lot to be a believable grunge artist, Kid Cudi knows that. When you can’t yell, simply roar, moan or make humming noises. Show them how your teen spirit smells, you know?

Next, be sure to pay enough attention to the lyrics. Grunge is supposed to be edgy, right? You really have to show how thoroughly depressed, dark and brooding you are. So be sure to include win-win phrases like “I am losing it”, “dumb punk loser”, “fall in the void”, “everything and everyone sucks”, “one last fuck you to the world”, etc. The more you mention wishing to die, the better. Let the world feel your agony by literally describing it!

Yeah, and also, grunge is the NINETIES thing, right? So you gotta bring up the one thing that symbolizes the nineties the most, which of course is… the Beavis and Butt-Head skits! These guys are sure to underline the edginess of your creation AND entertain your audience at the same time! I mean, come on, you can never go wrong with the old Beavis and Butt-Head, right? It’s also pretty cool to have them mention explicitly what great artist you are and how well you handle grunge’s raw emotion… thing. Or whatever it’s called. Let subtlety be your best friend!

And after one hour of all this awesomeness, when your listeners are practically writhing in ecstasy and screaming in delight, BRING DISC TWO ON THEM! Fill it with acoustic demos of more incredible songs. Cause that is exactly what they wanna hear, right? It’s grunge, so it should be raw, okay? Raw emotion, acoustic songs, studio noise - it’s all good, cause they will get to see all of your multiple sides as an artist at once.

And that, my friends, was the recipe of a masterpiece. Right? Right?

WRONG!!! WRONG, WRONG, WRONG!!! FUUUUCK YOU KID CUDI WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING??? AAAARGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AAARGH!!!

This. Was. Horrible. Atrocious. Abominable. Outstandingly bad.

I literally have nothing more to say. End of review. I hope to never hear this album again. You might wanna take a listen out of sheer curiosity of course, because this amazingly low level of quality is a truly rare thing. But proceed at your own risk. I almost died while making my way through this shit.

JANDEK - Ready for House (1978)

Review by: Jaime Vargas Sánchez
Album assigned by: Andreas Georgi (who’s going to pay for this)

I quickly sampled the album and my first impression is that just thinking that I have to listen to 43 minutes of this makes me wanna curl up in a corner and weep.

It’s off key vocals without power nor color, backed by some amateurish banging at some zither like instrument. Ah no, it’s apparently a guitar. When you can’t identify an instrument that plays solo it means that whoever is playing it is SO UNSKILLED that cannot even make it sound like itself.

Okay, I cannot stand this. I don’t like it. Nobody does. Everybody who says they like it are lying and being pretentious. This is an offense on humanity. MAKE IT STOP. MAKE. IT. STOP.

Oh, wait a moment.

I realised I’m not forced to do this.

I can make it stop myself.

Done.

FUCK.

YOU.