DOLLY MIXTURE - Demonstration Tapes (1983)

Review by: Alex Alex
Album assigned by: Tom Hadrian Kovalevsky

Dolly mixture is a British confection consisting of a variety of multi-coloured fondant shapes such as cubes and cylinders with subtle flavorings. The mixture consists of small soft sweets and sugar-coated jellies.

Cylinders! Jelly! Accordingly, one should expect something truly Satanic from a group named “Dolly Mixture”.

Satanism in this case comes in a form of the three females singing lalala lalala lalala lalala for an hour in the “I am unaware of what has happened to Anne Frank in that stupid Auschwitz” style, an anesthetic given to you by a mad dentist, the Demonstration Tapes where Demonstration stands for what it actually is, for the Ritual rather than begging for acceptance, the acceptance never needed since the moment you have turned this Thing on - it’s a home invasion, a sadistic and not, actually, very good Knock Knock, the girls never caring for YOU, proceeding with their own plan as soon as you let them in.

The plan is to sing lalala lalala for an hour having named the album Demonstration Tapes, having named the group by a clever name, a confirmation of the Velvet Underground Big Bang theory, a melodic variant of the Zabriskie Point Blow Up scene.

I have switched them off after some 30 minutes because I pitied the Nigerian girls who are deprived of education by the evil fanatics of maybe Ethiopia because Madonna is too far away to save them and so they cannot sing as those ladies from Sugarcubes do - otherwise we would have had lalala lalala lalala from Nigeria and from all over the world non-stop because this world has been finished and has been prescribed the anesthetic.

Sing your songs sweet sirens of Capitalism, Dollies Dearest, and burn Nicolas Cage in the end of each of your shows. It’s a pity you have not made a million more albums, but one can eat only so many jelly-coated cylinders of Cthulhu before he is driven into the abyss of the mountains of madness.

Though I’m going to sue the company for the flavoring being not so subtle.